Hidden Figures: A Black Girl’s POV

Here I am, sitting in my car, black girl joy written all across my face. img_6958I just finished watching one of the most amazing, motivating, uplifting and encouraging movies that I’ve seen in a very long time. Honestly, I don’t know where to begin, I don’t know how to fully explain nor express this joy, happiness, excitement . . . this new-found hope, during one of the most pivotal times in history, a time where not many of us (persons of color) occupy within us, those four small letters, with such a powerful meaning: HOPE. This movie couldn’t have come at a better time. At a time alike then (1940’s) racial division and discrimination is regaining its strength. I can only but hope this movie encourages others to be more kind, less judgemental and open minded about our external differences. The color of ones skin does not define our beauty, our brilliance nor our abilities to be great.

As I sat there by myself, in a theater surrounded by mostly Caucasian men/women, I couldn’t help but wonder how they would feel, and what they were thinking. Would this movie make as much of an impact on their lives as it was making on mine? For a moment I was overcome by an array of emotions. There was an instance when I wanted to gust with laughter, then I wanted to leap from my seat to cheer on their bravery. I wanted to applaud with pride because women who looked just like me, were breaking barriers and winning. Unsettling emotions soon followed, where there were moments that I wanted to shout with anger, for I couldn’t imagine living in a time as such. I was even afflicted by the “love-bug spell” of emotion, Black Love . . . oh, what a beautifully amazing thing. And then there was a moment when tears furled down my cheeks, but my sadness instantaneously turned into joy . . . black girl joy. I was joyful to know that through all the adversities, through all the struggles, through all the setbacks; these three amazing black women excelled. Despite racial and gender inequality, these women succeeded. Yes, they had to work twice as hard to achieve half of what their Caucasian/male counterparts could achieve without thought; however, even with delays they attained the “impossible”.

Here’s to Black Excellence, Black Love, and Black Women sticking together . . . “If one of us makes it, then we all make it”. That one quote spoke volume; sisterhood at its finest. If only we’d work together, oh the places we’d go and the things we’d achieve.

If you haven’t gotten a chance to see Hidden Figures, please go out and support this wonderful film (untold and undocumented, until now; black history), and amazingly talented cast. Taraji, Octavia and Janelle did an amazing job; you ladies rock!

Until next time . . . I’ll be waiting on my Jim Johnson! 😘

2017 New Year Goals

The year dedicated to thriving, fulling dreams, reaching and achieving ALL my goals, cutting debt, happiness, wealth . . . 2017 goals on BOOM.

As another year comes to an end and the New Year approaches . . . In three days to be exact; I can’t but think . . . “Where on earth did this year go” (as if I don’t say this every year). Seriously, this year swiftly came and is almost over. For me; this means starting fresh, setting new goals, and hopefully sticking to my “list”. Yea, that’s a task in itself. However; after this past year (2016), I think I’m pretty confident that I’ll stick to my “list”, this time around.

2016 It started off pretty good; however, hasn’t ended on the best note. Nothing worth complaining about, just a little rough, some disappointments, mistakes, etc.

At any rate, moving right along. I increased my income greatly this past year; however, I have nothing to show for it. Woomp woomp . . . I know, terrible right. Sh😩t happens, but listen; it’s ok, lesson learned. So, back to what I was saying above (line 14 – Did you really go look? haha), about being confident that 2017 will be epic and that I’ll surely stick to my “list”. I can say this with grave confidence because for me, 2016 has been a historic year, YES historic . . . I failed at money management, goal setting, debt decreasing, credit cards overdrawn, multiple overdraft fees, late payments, credit score declining, etc. etc.; again,  lesson learned. Yep, I said it; woo what a relief. I admitted that I screwed over my relationship with money this past year. Yep, me; Ms. “Seemingly” Perfect Pattie aka Tomika.

So, what does this mean for 2017? Well, for starters:

1) I’ve already written down my goals; I will decrease my debt, I will increase my credit score, I will increase my savings by $5000, I will start the home buying process; therefore I’ll be ready to purchase the beginning of 2018 . . . Just to name a few.

2) I decided to join the Live Richer Challenge (Credit Edition) by The Budgetnista

3)  I’m raising my credit score without another credit card. Yea me!! Self Lender  I learned about this awesome credit builder tool through The Budgetnista. Credit Building is one of my main goals for 2017 (there’s a home on the horizon for the family and I). If you decide to get a credit builder account, please use my code Tomika Credit Builder Code  Thanks in advance! I’m so looking forward to building my credit in this manner.

4) I’m not spending unnecessary money.

5) I won’t be eating out excessively.

6) I won’t be impulse shopping.

7) I’ll be saying NO a lot more. And it’s totally ok. And I won’t feel bad about it.

8) Less complaining, more accomplishing

9) Getting rid of the words fear, afraid, what-if, maybe and replacing them with success, I am going to, I will, etc.

10) Last but definitely not least and, an always important factor . . . Love more and give more of myself, time, energy, to things and individuals that matter.

So, this is my list; for now. I’m sure as the year progresses, I’ll add more things to my “list”.

What are some of your goals? Do you have a list? What are you doing to achieve these goals?

Any-who, until next time, have an awesome end to your 2016 year. Blessings upon blessings. Have a happy and prosperous New Year.

I tried a new product . . . The Mane Choice

Ok, so I’m not a product person, typically my natural hair regimen consist of water, water, more water, organic virgin coconut oil and a little edge control. That’s it! I wash my hair with any product that doesn’t contain a full load of harsh chemicals, nothing fancy or anything.

Any-who, I had been hearing about The Mane Choice products and would always see ads on my timeline via Facebook. I never thought to purchase their products, simply because, again, I’m just not a product girl.

So, while in Target the other day, I knew it was time for a wash, and that I was in need of some more conditioner. As I’m browsing the shelves, there it was; I thought “what the hey-hey-hey”. I’m going to try something new for a change. I had no idea Target sold their products.

Long story short, I bought the 3 in 1 co-wash, leave in, detangler and let’s just say, I won’t be purchasing another conditioner, I’m sold on this product.

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My hair was not only easy to detangle, but my hair didn’t shrink as much as it usually does. Sidebar: I have a really tight, extra curly hair pattern, my hair is reallly thick also and shrinkage and I are cousins (first cousins). Okay, back to my story . . .

My hair was really, really, soft and felt very moisturized.

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The smell is a plus also. ❤️ After my hair dried, I expected the normal shrinkage and tightness to take place, nope; my hair is still soft and didn’t shrink to my extra tight curl pattern. My hair feels fluffy; like a feather or maybe a pillow, I don’t know; like a cloud. Well I don’t know what a cloud actually feels like, but it looks fluffy.😊  Again, back to my point . . . Lol

My hair is currently, after 2 days, manintaing some length and it’s still soft and not dry. My hair usually dries out fast, I normally have to mist my hair many times a day with my water and coconut oil mix. Surprislying I haven’t had to. 

I may have to try their other products. For now, I’m sold on this 3 in 1. Go try it for yourself!

Have a happy wash day!

 

New Year, New Wardrobe

What’s on my shopping list:

1) This cute little Green Sequin Letter Print Bodycon Dress from www.shein.com is so freaking adorable. It’s definitely on my list.

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2) I’m a t-shirt lover. You can dress a t-shirt up or down. Jeans or a fancy lace skirt. Leather jacket or a structured blazer. Another cute little find from www.shein.com

3) This DVF JAMIE A-LINE DRESS is gorg, I’d rock this in both Fall and Spring. Www.dvf.com

4) I love DVF, she’s one of my most favorite designers. I’d pair this DVF MARGARIT SILK SLIP DRESS with the PUMA BY RIHANNA VELVET CREEPER’s; I’m totally in love with this shoe. I’ll add this faux suede bomber jacket from www.shein.com www.puma.com www.dvf.com 

4a) Here’s the DVF MARGARIT SILK SLIP DRESS again, this time dressed up with a pair of Christian Louboutin Belle Round Toe Bootie from Nordstrom

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5) I’ve been wanting a Fall/Winter version of this striped shirt. I purchased a cropped top one earlier this Spring, that I absolutely adored. This Frilly Shirt is from my favorite store Zara

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6) This season, I’m here for EVERYTHING velvet. It’s something about this old school, yet sexy fabric. Velvet has definitely found it’s way back into my heart. These items are from Zara

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7) Mustard is one of my most favorite Fall/Winter colors, with Hunter Green following behind very close. I’m a sucker for hats, scarves and funky flats; these Pom Pom flats are so adorable. These items are from Zara

8) I love to throw on a sweater (sweater dress) during the Fall and especially Winter season. It’s so easy and convenient to just throw it on and go. Sweaters are another one of those clothing items, that can be dressed up or down. From jeans to leather pants and/or skirts. The first two gray pieces are from Zara, also the green sweater turtleneck; which I LOVE with the gold accents. The other two items are from SheIn

9) Your season wouldn’t be complete without a fabulous coat. For me, my coat has to be a statement piece. If my outfit is going to be covered (I like to look cute but I won’t be cold; therefore a coat must be worn when the temps are low) a rocking coat/jacket must accompany my wardrobe. I like bright and bold myself, and at least one neutral color, for everyday wear. All items with the exception of the color blocked coat, can be found on Zara’s website. The color blocked coat is from SheIn.

10) Wrap dresses are essential for my work attire. They’re easy to throw on at 4:45 am(that’s what time I get up for work) and the fit on a good wrap dress (DVF is my favorite) and the quality is outstanding. I feel uber sexy, yet classy when I rock a wrap dress. The black and white wrapdress is from SheIn and the other two are from DVF

This completes my New Year Wardrobe Wishlist. Happy shopping! 😊

Embracing My Natural Hair

Kinky, nappy, versatile, curly, big, shrunken, chemical free, beautiful, eye-catching, intriguing, stubborn, fabulous, bold and birthed by Mother Nature, my God given coils were prouduced on purpose . . . I am Tomika’s hair.

This is my hair; my crown! My spirit and my hair are what you’ll notice before I even speak. The best thing I could have done, 6 years ago, was become natural.  Mistakes, yes! Regrets, no; not a single one. Everyday is still a learning process.

My hair does not look like the naturally curly girls (who are by the way, fabulous) in your magazines or on television. I can’t rock a wash-and-go, I don’t wake up fabulous (well I do, but this crown takes time) . . . My crown is not what most think; It takes patience, discipline, courage, and strength to rock my natural tresses in a society that doesn’t think it’s appropriate or desirable. I co-wash, pre-poo, twist, deep-condition, steam, stretch, use a million bottles of conditioner, a thousand jars of organic virgin coconut Oil, I go through jars of edge control, I break a million combs and pop a gazillion perm robs . . . Doesn’t sound easy huh?! Well, it’s not, but I love it; the end result is fabulous and well worth the struggle.

I haven’t always loved my natural hair, I haven’t always adored it, I haven’t always been proud of my crown. Suprising huh?! Yea, suprising for me too! What was I thinking, this crown has always been popping. I was so caught up in society’s idea of what beautiful hair consisted of, that at one point of time, I was confused and searching for my natural hair identity.

Will he like me with my hair like this? (Shout out to the best Beau ever, he loves and adores my natural)

Will I get the job?

All my friends wear weaves, I’ll look different than them!

Why didn’t my hair turn out like that YouTube tutorial?

But my hair doesn’t look like hers, why?

I need to try this new product; it’s going to make my hair grow, curlier, prettier, etc.!

These are just a few things that at some point, I’ve thought about my crown. Shame on me! Why on earth would I ever be ashamed of these glorious coils. Afterall they’re a gift from God. My hair is me, it’s what was intended for Tomika, its apart of what makes me, me.

Learn to embrace your curls. Be patient with your hair. Get into a routine that works for YOU. Give your hair love (take care of it). Don’t wait until your hair is longer to love it, love it now.

6 years in the making and after an array of styles, mutiple big-chops, breakage, damage, shrinkage, pattern changes; you name it, I can “honestly truly” say, I love my hair. All it took was a little love and affection.

Pop on with your bad self! 👸🏽

 

Happy December

Can you believe that 2016 is coming to an end . . . where on earth did this year go?!

For me December means its time to start Christmas shopping. I know, I know “I’m late”, so what. LOL I love this time of the year and quite frankly It’s more about family, giving, laughter, happiness and enjoying the season.

Last month I had written down my holiday “to do” list. Things for my 3 year old and I to do, as well as for the entire family. So far, so good.

-Pink Pig ✔️

-Lighting of Atlantic Station ✔️

-Rode the Christmas sleigh train ✔️

-Christmas Tree Farm ✔️✔️ (This year we had the greatest time. I believe each year that we carry on this awesome sauce tradition, that it’ll only get better)

-Decorated our home and our tree ✔️✔️✔️

My list isn’t quite complete; however, I’ve enjoyed our activities thus far. Oh, guess who’s made their way to town, our elf on the shelf. Our elf is a little mischvious, but loved. Lol His name is Skittles Lightening (courtesy of my oldest haha).

Any-who, I’m just asking December to be good to me. Hopes of ending this year with love, happiness, lots of laughter, holiday parties (I just want to dress up duh 😊), good eating, and thankfulness for an amazing 2016.

Have a Happy December everyone!

Birthday Reflections and Blessings . . . 36 be good to me

Birthdays are extremely important to me, for me it’s God/Universe way of letting us know; there’s still work to be done. It’s a celebration of life and what greater gift is there, than life.

35:

I brought in my 35th birthday with my bestie getting engaged and my good friend having a surprise wedding . . . An amazingly awesome start to 35; don’t you think

I cried . . . Honestly, I don’t even remember why. Tears are good, they enforce healing

I laughed . . . I’ve had some really good laughs this year (Medicine for the soul)

I was confused about life (God what is it that I’m supposed to be doing)

I was afraid . . . Failure, Swiftly approaching my 40’s and still being single (not married), Dying one day and not fully utilizing my God given talents

I gave to others even when I didn’t have it (Life is totally about giving, we were created to give and help others along their journey)

I let go and loved harder . . . Didn’t realize I was doing more harm than good, always wanting to be in control, overthinking . . . I learned that . . . “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage” I decided to do what made my soul happy, no restrictions

My faith was challenged (Woo, thank God for affirmations and positive thinking)

My first born graduated High School and started College (One of the happiest and most exciting days in my life; proud mama bear)

I started back blogging (Yeaaa me, I promise I’m not going to stop this time; I LOVE writing)

I felt trapped in a position that I didn’t enjoy; which lead to me accomplishing more at my job; in one year, than the entire 5 1/2 years that I had been there . . . awards, accolades, certificates galore (I stopped making excuses and decided to make the best of a not so great situation. Apparently this is where I’m supposed to be ‘For now’, I’m making the best of this until my next assignment comes)

I gave up cheese (never really been a dairy person but pizza, cheese burgers and pastas were my favorites)

I became a Vegan for ONE month . . . I wasn’t about that life, I started disappearing . . . I narrowed it down to only chicken and turkey . . . my goodness it was hard giving up bacon

I purchased my first live Christmas tree The honey and I went to a Christmas Tree Farm and we had a blast . . . new tradition

I started back working out and it felt amazing; however, I’ve slacked up greatly . . . back at it soon

Did I mention, my faith was TESTED and that I loved harder (Love is an amazingly awesome thing when it’s genuine)

Continue reading “Birthday Reflections and Blessings . . . 36 be good to me”